Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
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