Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
so let's talk penis.
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
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