summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
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