what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
Randomize
