He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
you called me at 4 in the morning to tell me that your toaster burnt your english muffin, and that you "fuckin hated that thing."
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
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