Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
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