HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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