one two three fourrrrnication!
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
Randomize
