my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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