Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
