I'm drive I can fine osifer
I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
You smell like a Billy Joel song
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
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