I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
Randomize
