Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
My hair reeks of homosexuality.
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
Randomize
