A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
They have beer where we have blood.
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Randomize
