and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
