great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
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