whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
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