I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
Randomize
