I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
