Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
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