Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
Randomize
