My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
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