Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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