It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island