Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Randomize
