he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
Randomize