if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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