I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Randomize
