Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
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