ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Randomize
