How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
Only a mothe r could love this liver
They should really pass out barf bags in church
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
Randomize
