I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
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