just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
Randomize
