i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
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