Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
Randomize
