Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
