i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
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