I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Randomize
