she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Randomize
