Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize