Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
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She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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