I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize
