This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
Randomize
