dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
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