is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
sex in a hospital.. check
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Randomize
