I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
Randomize
