I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Randomize
