no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
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