Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Randomize
