so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
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