I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
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