when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
are you so shy because you have an std?
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
When are your genitals available?
Randomize
