i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
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