omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Randomize
