i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
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