He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
Randomize
