He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
