The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
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