I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
Randomize
