time to smoke my breakfast
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
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