I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
You're like the curious george of whores
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
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