Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
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