I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
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