I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
Randomize
