Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
Randomize
