well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
Randomize
