did you get engaged???
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
Randomize
