he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
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